Hormones: The Invisible Puppeteers of Our Body and Mind

We often think of our bodies as intricate systems of organs and tissues working together to keep us alive and thriving. But at the heart of this intricate system is a lesser-known yet powerful force: hormones. These tiny molecules have a hand in almost every aspect of our bodily functions, from regulating our sleep patterns to controlling our metabolism. And, just as they have the power to maintain balance and harmony, hormone imbalances can wreak havoc on our physical and mental health.

Understanding Hormones: The Basics

Generally, hormones are chemical messengers produced by the endocrine glands. They travel through the bloodstream, telling tissues and organs what to do. For example, insulin helps regulate blood sugar levels, while thyroid hormones control metabolism. And it's not just about physical functions; hormones are pivotal in influencing our mood, mental health, and overall well-being.

Imbalanced Hormones and Mental Health

A hormonal imbalance can manifest in numerous ways, from mood swings and anxiety to depression and insomnia. For instance, imbalances in serotonin, often termed the happiness hormone, can lead to feelings of sadness, irritability, and depression. Similarly, fluctuations in estrogen and progesterone, particularly during the menstrual cycle or menopause, can greatly impact mood and cognition.

For Black women, there's an added layer of complexity. Historical and systemic disparities in healthcare access, coupled with societal stresses like racism, can exacerbate hormonal imbalances. These disparities might also make Black women more susceptible to conditions like polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) or thyroid disorders, which can influence mental health.

Nutrition, Hormones, and Weight

One significant factor that can impact hormonal balance is diet. Consuming highly processed, sugary, or fatty foods not only influences weight but can also disrupt hormonal harmony. A diet low in essential nutrients can compromise the functions of the thyroid gland, hinder insulin regulation, and amplify stress hormones like cortisol. For Black women, specific dietary habits and cultural cuisines might need to be carefully navigated to ensure they receive hormone-balancing nutrients.

Eating for Hormonal Harmony: Tips for Women

1. Prioritize Protein: Incorporate lean protein sources like fish, poultry, legumes, and tofu into your diet. Protein provides the essential amino acids necessary for hormone production.

2. Opt for Omega-3s: Fatty acids, particularly omega-3s found in fatty fish, chia seeds, and walnuts, can help reduce inflammation and maintain cell membrane health, which is crucial for hormone function.

3. Boost Fiber Intake: Fiber helps detoxify excess hormones and regulate blood sugar levels. Sources include whole grains, fruits, and vegetables.

4. Minimize Sugar and Refined Carbs: High sugar and refined carb intake can lead to insulin resistance, which may result in weight gain and disrupt other hormonal processes.

5. Incorporate Cruciferous Vegetables: Broccoli, cauliflower, and Brussels sprouts can help balance estrogen levels.

6. Stay Hydrated: Drink enough water daily. It aids in hormone transport and overall cellular function.

7. Limit Caffeine and Alcohol: Both can disrupt endocrine functions and negatively influence hormonal balance.

Understanding the role hormones play in our health is essential for overall well-being. Especially for Black women, who may face unique challenges and vulnerabilities, prioritizing hormone health through nutrient-dense foods can be a key to unlocking a balanced mental and physical state. By taking small, proactive steps in our daily lives, we can harness the power of hormones to work for us rather than against us.

GET CURIOUS.

The GET CURIOUS framework aims to help Black women delve into the art of self-awareness. Through guided introspection, this model aids in excavating hidden emotions, identifying root causes of pain, and fostering holistic healing.

Framework Components

1. Release the Need to Be Right

Exercise: Conduct a self-assessment to identify situations where the need to be correct has hindered your growth.

Question: When faced with situations where you have to make hard decisions, ask yourself: “What is more important to me—being right or healing?”

2. Acknowledge and Name Your Emotions

Exercise: Use a feeling wheel to identify and label your feelings. See below for a link.

Question: “What is the core emotion I am feeling right now?”

3. Experience and Explore Your Emotions

Exercise: Utilize mindfulness to analyze and sit with your emotions.

Question: “Where is this emotion stemming from, and what does it signify for me?”

4. Take Your Time and Write That Shit Out

Question: “What narratives are surfacing in my journaling that need further exploration?”

5. Ask 'What' Questions

Exercise: Engage in self-inquiry using “what” as the lead word.

Question: “What factors contributed to this emotion? What can I learn from this?”

6. BEA Gracious

Exercise: Reflect on instances where you fell short, forgiving yourself and identifying ways to improve.

Question: “What can I learn from my failures to make more informed choices in the future?”

7. Practice Kaizen

Exercise: Identify one small change you can implement for self-improvement.

Question: “What is the one percent improvement I can make [in this moment, in the future]?”

8. Feel it in Your Soul, Sis

Exercise: Use guided visualization or deep reflection to ensure soul-level resolution.

Question: “Is my soul at peace with my conclusions?”

9. Ask for a Second [Third + Fourth] Opinion

Exercise: Seek input from trusted mental health accountability partners.

Question: “What alternate perspectives or insights am I missing?”

10. BEA Vulnerable

Exercise: Share your reflections and growth areas with someone you trust.

Question: “What part of my story am I hesitant to share but know is crucial for my healing?”

Additional Resources

• Feelings Wheel: To help you identify and understand your emotions.

• SoulMed Journal Challenges: Tailored prompts for deep introspection.

• Dear Black Woman | Mediation Mixed Tape

The GET CURIOUS framework is a guide and a committed lifestyle to discovering your authentic self. Following these steps diligently will bring about self-awareness, holistic healing, and a life filled with ease and serenity.

Note: This framework is informational and should not replace professional medical advice. Always consult a healthcare provider for medical advice and treatment.

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Copyright © 2023. GET CURIOUS: What Does It Mean to Get Curious. All rights reserved.

#BeThe1To Break The Cycle of Suicide

World Suicide Prevention Day is September 10. It’s a time to remember those affected by suicide, to raise awareness, and to focus efforts on directing treatment to those who need it most.

I am passionate about mental health because I have suffered from poor mental health for so long. I’ve contemplated suicide many times during my life - and tried to commit suicide once. I am not alone.

According to the US Department of Health + Human Services Office of Minority Health:

• In 2019, suicide was the second leading cause of death for blacks or African Americans, ages 15 to 24.

• The death rate from suicide for black or African American men was four times greater than for African American women, in 2018.

• The overall suicide rate for black or African Americans was 60 percent lower than that of the non-Hispanic white population, in 2018.

• Black females, grades 9-12, were 60 percent more likely to attempt suicide in 2019, as compared to non-Hispanic white females of the same age.

• Poverty level affects mental health status. Black or African Americans living below the poverty level, as compared to those over twice the poverty level, are twice as likely to report serious psychological distress.

• A report from the U.S. Surgeon General found that from 1980 - 1995, the suicide rate among African Americans ages 10 to 14 increased 233 percentage, as compared to 120 percent of non-Hispanic whites.

It’s important that we talk about suicide + mental health. Research shows that people who are having thoughts of suicide feel relief when someone asks about them in a caring way. Talking about suicide and mental health in a safe space can reduce suicidal thoughts. It’s important for those suffering from suicidal thoughts to have someone to speak with who doesn’t judge + who provides resources to support them.

So, #BeThe1To … provide the support needed to prevent another suicide.

Resources for Black Women + Girls seeking mental health support

• SoulMed(icine) Spiritual + Mental Well-Being Resource Guide

• SoulMed Stress Managment Guide

• Loveland Foundation

• Therapy for Black Girls

• Black Girl Smile

Also read:

• How Michelle Williams Triggered My Memories of Depression

• Saving our Sisters: Suicide + the Black Community

• Among Black Girls is a Mental Health Crisis Hiding in Plain Sight

Black + Gold: Getting to the Golden Life

Ever since 2004, when Jill Scott dropped her single Golden, I’ve been dreaming about the Golden Life. I didn’t know at the time what it meant to live life golden, but she made it sound so aspirational. I’ve held on to the desire to live that way and I created the SoulMed definition for The Golden Life.

“The Golden Life requires you to:
* Live in gratitude for each experience (good or bad)
*Naturally respond to triggering situations
* Be emotionally connected to yourself + how you show up to people + how they respond to you
*Honor yourself in what you do + say”

— Bea Williams

Getting to the Golden Life - well - that takes (in the words of Iyanla) doing the work. Watch the video below + download the accompanying workbook to learn how to get to the Golden Life.

DOWNLOAD THE WORKBOOK

Creating Balance: Key to Positive Mental Health

The National Alliance on Mental Health reports that maintaining balance in our daily lives is a cornerstone of our overall well-being. Balance prevents stress, which has a huge and negative impact on our mental health. De-stressing your life can reduce the possibility of contracting some of the major chronic health issues. It’s important to note that balance is different for each person; so, there isn’t a formula for achieving it. To that end, you should have an arsenal of strategies to use that help you create the balance you seek in your life. Below, are some suggested strategies for creating balance in your life.

Create a routine :: Perceived lack of time is a large contributor to stress. Creating a routine that is aligned with your goals can decrease stressful time-related situations. The following information and worksheets will help you create goals and offer you powerful tools to help you manage your time effectively and efficiently.

• Goal-Setting Worksheet

• 80/20 Rule for Time Management

  • Determine your passion :: What do you like doing? If you could have any job in the world, what would you do? How does your passion improve the health and happiness of others?

  • Find your 20 percent :: Make a list of all the activities in your daily life. Categorize each one either as a 20 percent task or an 80 percent task. Certain activities may shift in importance over time, but the 80/20 rule is only effective if you are honest about the priority of a task at the present moment.

    • Twenty percent tasks are high-leverage tasks that are most valuable, produce the greatest momentum toward your goal and provide the greatest return on investment; only you can complete these tasks.

    • Eighty percent tasks have a false sense of urgency or aren’t pushing you closer to your goal; these tasks can be delegated to others.

      1. Example :: If your dream is to run your own juice bar, your daily activity list might include ::

         • 20 percent tasks :: experiment with recipes, secure investors (things only you can do)

         • 80 percent tasks :: buy groceries, do laundry, design website, post on social media (things others can do)

  • Focus :: Now that you are clear on your 20 percent of tasks pushing you toward your goals, take action on these tasks each day. For example, you might experience with one new juice recipe each day and plan to spend 30 minutes a day calling one potential investor instead of scrolling social media.

  By focusing your energy on the things that can yield the most results, you will begin to experience momentum toward your goals.

• Time-Management Awareness

• Big Rocks

Creating boundaries :: It is important to honor yourself at all times. One way to do this is by creating boundaries. You can use this Instagram post as a starting point for developing the words to support the boundaries you would like to create. Be sure to follow Nedra Glover on Instagram. She will make a great addition to your newly curated IG feed.

Counting to 10 or 100

Live in the present moment :: Many times our worries are related to what MAY happen. Live in the present moment and don’t worry about what MAY happen. Plan and prepare for it, but don’t worry about it.

Reciting affirmations :: Words have power. When you speak positive words and affirm yourself you will experience happy times. Positive affirmations can change your mood - immediately. They can also help you manifest the life you want. Create a list of positive affirmations and use them to help you navigate stressful moments. For example, if you are stressed about your finances you can say ::

• I have all the resources to meet my needs.

• I lack nothing.

• I am resourceful and powerful. I will attract what I need to sustain and survive.

• I’m a paper chaser. I got the block on fire. I will remain a G until the moment I expire. I know how to make something out of nothing. I handle my business. (Inspired by Ha by Juvenile) ***

• I will win. It’s my winning season. (Inspired by You Will Win by Jakaylan Carr) ***

• I’m a master lemonade maker. No matter what life hands me I made the best lemonade ever! Grab a glass! (Inspired by Lemonade by Beyoncè) ***

• I won’t let Satan win aka Not today Satan. (Inspired by black mommas everywhere) ***

*** TAKEN FROM I AM ENOUGH :: 50 AFFIRMATIONS FOR BLACK WOMEN. ORDER HERE.

Closure Is Something You Give To Yourself

It is often said that closure is a myth. That’s partly true. If you are seeking closure through someone else … then … yeah … sis … you won’t get it. If you are looking deep within to get closure; well, you are on the right track.

Closure is only something you can give yourself. Dr. Abigail Brenner gives five ways to give yourself closure:

1. Take full responsibility for yourself.
It's ultimately up to you to take the necessary actions to help move you forward. Have conversations with yourself, both asking and answering your own questions in a form of a "self-dialogue."

• What or whom are you holding onto? Why?

• Does holding on truly make you happy, or are you hanging on to a situation the way it once was, or the way you wished it had been, instead of how it actually turned out?

• Are you using this "holding on" as an excuse to stay stuck and unresolved? In other words, is dwelling in the past taking you away from moving toward your future?

• Are you trying to avoid dealing with loss and the void that loss creates?

• If you're willing to let go, what does that really mean? What will you have to do?

• Are you afraid of not knowing what the outcome will be?

• Ultimately, what do you believe will happen to you if you let go?

Being as honest as you can be will pay off in the long run. The pain, hurt, anger, and disappointment will diminish once you've cleared the way to a better, more realistic understanding of the situation.

2. Grieve the loss.
Take plenty of time to do this. There is no set amount of time and no prescribed way; it's totally up to each person to find that for themselves. Don't let anyone tell you to "just get over it." However, grieving should not go on for years. That's just being stuck, still heavily invested in the past.

Prolonged or incomplete grief may contribute to making poor choices in the future. The ability to trust, to be honest, and to be yourself is essential for a new, healthier relationship or situation to present itself to you. "Unfinished business" must be completed and resolved before you move on.

3. Gather your strengths.

• Focus on the positives. Make a list of your talents, gifts, and assets.

• Surround yourself with people who know you well, encourage and support you.

• Shift the emphasis to what you need, what makes you happy. Don't worry about pleasing others.

• Assess where you can make positive change in your life.

• Define and affirm what you're able to do something about now.

4. Make a plan for the immediate future.
Determine what's most important for you moving forward. If necessary, reorder your priorities to allow you to explore different possibilities and opportunities that may present themselves to you. Try some of these on for size. It doesn't matter if they don't work out, just that you tried. The important thing is to take action in order to make things happen. If you can't find a path, make one!

5. Create a ritual.
Believe it or not, performing a ritual is a powerful tool to help gain closure. Beyond thinking and talking, and thinking and talking some more, ritual is driven by intention and action. A "symbolic enactment" allows you to utilize your creativity and intuition in order to bypass the intellectual, logical part of your brain.

For example, when a relationship is over, what do you do with all of the meaningful items and objects, such as letters, pictures, etc., that were part of the relationship? A "fire ceremony" is a way to consume the past, but any number of rituals that you personally create can provide symbolic finality and closure.

Weaknesses As Strengths

When is the last time you leaned into your weaknesses? Most times we ignore them and try to deny them because it doesn’t feel good to know you aren’t good at that thing; but, we shouldn’t do that.

Leaning into our weaknesses means we take a deep look at what we don’t do well, where we need to improve and determine the best way to address the issue. By examining where we can improve, we can reduce our stress. Focusing on weaknesses can help us reduce stress by allowing us to have a plan of action when we are required to operate in our weakness. The Stanford Rethinking Stress toolkit, our stress if often caused by misalignment of our personal values and goals.

For example, if you want to do well at being a mother, but you have a tendency to get easily frustrated, this is a weakness for you in the area of parenting. Leaning into the weakness by asking questions can help you uncover the source of your frustration and help you develop a plan to address it. There are several steps you should take to lean into your weakness ::

• Step 1 :: Recognition

• Step 2 :: Self-evaluation

• Step 3 :: Plan

Using this example, leaning into the weakness would go a little something like this ::

Step 1 :: Recognition

• While fussing at your child you realize that this is a common problem.

• You acknowledge and don’t try to resist the fact that this is a reoccurring issue.

Step 2 :: Self-evaluation

• You make an intentional decision to note how you are feeling at the moment - outside of whatever your child did to upset you, asking yourself ::

  • Was the punishment (fussing) equal to the infraction (their behavior)?

    • If so, why?

      • Did you explain how not to do said thing to the child?

      • Is there a better way to reach the child that leaves you both with your dignity and respect?

      • Is there something that could be a larger issue with your child?

    • If not, what else could cause you to be short with your child consistently?

      • Is it stress at work?

      • Are you unhappy with your relationship?

      • Do you have deep-rooted issues with the parent-child relationship?

Step 3 :: Plan

Based on your responses to the questions, you need to determine what the actual weakness is and then a plan of action moving forward.

Using our example and example questions, you might uncover that your child doesn’t understand the WHY behind what you ask them to do. Since they don’t understand, they don’t do the task the way you want it done - or at all. The weakness here could be that you aren’t effectively communicating with your child.

With that understanding, you can now develop a plan that will help you better communicate with your child. One way to address the weakness is to show them and train them before asking them to complete new tasks, making sure to explain THE WHY and THE HOW as you are training them. Using this new strategy for all situations like this would help improve communication and reduce fussing, improving your stress.

You’re not done though. After fixing the issue with your child, you should consider ::

• How else this weakness shows up.

• What’s the behavior associated with the weakness in different situations?

• How can you develop a plan to address it in those situations?

SN:: I know you are like … gurl … Black mommas don’t care about them not understanding the why … that’s not today’s topic of discussion … but it is something we should discuss at some point … because traditional parenting styles by Black families are rooted in slavery, perpetuate colonialism and are toxic.