We are taught that good communication means knowing our audience and considering how a message will land. For Black people and others from marginalized communities, that can quietly become something more: the constant work of softening, translating and editing ourselves so other people can receive us comfortably. This reflection explores the difference between strategic adaptation and self-erasure — and what it means to know when the adjustment is serving you and when it is costing you.
We often think of our bodies as intricate systems of organs and tissues working together to keep us alive and thriving. But at the heart of this intricate system is a lesser-known yet powerful force: hormones. These tiny molecules have a hand in almost every aspect of our bodily functions, from regulating our sleep patterns to controlling our metabolism. And, just as they have the power to maintain balance and harmony, hormone imbalances can wreak havoc on our physical and mental health.
Understanding Hormones: The Basics
Generally, hormones are chemical messengers produced by the endocrine glands. They travel through the bloodstream, telling tissues and organs what to do. For example, insulin helps regulate blood sugar levels, while thyroid hormones control metabolism. And it's not just about physical functions; hormones are pivotal in influencing our mood, mental health, and overall well-being.
Imbalanced Hormones and Mental Health
A hormonal imbalance can manifest in numerous ways, from mood swings and anxiety to depression and insomnia. For instance, imbalances in serotonin, often termed the happiness hormone, can lead to feelings of sadness, irritability, and depression. Similarly, fluctuations in estrogen and progesterone, particularly during the menstrual cycle or menopause, can greatly impact mood and cognition.
For Black women, there's an added layer of complexity. Historical and systemic disparities in healthcare access, coupled with societal stresses like racism, can exacerbate hormonal imbalances. These disparities might also make Black women more susceptible to conditions like polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) or thyroid disorders, which can influence mental health.
Nutrition, Hormones, and Weight
One significant factor that can impact hormonal balance is diet. Consuming highly processed, sugary, or fatty foods not only influences weight but can also disrupt hormonal harmony. A diet low in essential nutrients can compromise the functions of the thyroid gland, hinder insulin regulation, and amplify stress hormones like cortisol. For Black women, specific dietary habits and cultural cuisines might need to be carefully navigated to ensure they receive hormone-balancing nutrients.
Eating for Hormonal Harmony: Tips for Women
1. Prioritize Protein: Incorporate lean protein sources like fish, poultry, legumes, and tofu into your diet. Protein provides the essential amino acids necessary for hormone production.
2. Opt for Omega-3s: Fatty acids, particularly omega-3s found in fatty fish, chia seeds, and walnuts, can help reduce inflammation and maintain cell membrane health, which is crucial for hormone function.
3. Boost Fiber Intake: Fiber helps detoxify excess hormones and regulate blood sugar levels. Sources include whole grains, fruits, and vegetables.
4. Minimize Sugar and Refined Carbs: High sugar and refined carb intake can lead to insulin resistance, which may result in weight gain and disrupt other hormonal processes.
5. Incorporate Cruciferous Vegetables: Broccoli, cauliflower, and Brussels sprouts can help balance estrogen levels.
6. Stay Hydrated: Drink enough water daily. It aids in hormone transport and overall cellular function.
7. Limit Caffeine and Alcohol: Both can disrupt endocrine functions and negatively influence hormonal balance.
Understanding the role hormones play in our health is essential for overall well-being. Especially for Black women, who may face unique challenges and vulnerabilities, prioritizing hormone health through nutrient-dense foods can be a key to unlocking a balanced mental and physical state. By taking small, proactive steps in our daily lives, we can harness the power of hormones to work for us rather than against us.
The National Alliance on Mental Health reports that maintaining balance in our daily lives is a cornerstone of our overall well-being. Balance prevents stress, which has a huge and negative impact on our mental health. De-stressing your life can reduce the possibility of contracting some of the major chronic health issues. It’s important to note that balance is different for each person; so, there isn’t a formula for achieving it. To that end, you should have an arsenal of strategies to use that help you create the balance you seek in your life. Below, are some suggested strategies for creating balance in your life.
Create a routine :: Perceived lack of time is a large contributor to stress. Creating a routine that is aligned with your goals can decrease stressful time-related situations. The following information and worksheets will help you create goals and offer you powerful tools to help you manage your time effectively and efficiently.
80/20 Rule for Time Management
Determine your passion :: What do you like doing? If you could have any job in the world, what would you do? How does your passion improve the health and happiness of others?
Find your 20 percent :: Make a list of all the activities in your daily life. Categorize each one either as a 20 percent task or an 80 percent task. Certain activities may shift in importance over time, but the 80/20 rule is only effective if you are honest about the priority of a task at the present moment.
Twenty percent tasks are high-leverage tasks that are most valuable, produce the greatest momentum toward your goal and provide the greatest return on investment; only you can complete these tasks.
Eighty percent tasks have a false sense of urgency or aren’t pushing you closer to your goal; these tasks can be delegated to others.
Example :: If your dream is to run your own juice bar, your daily activity list might include ::
20 percent tasks :: experiment with recipes, secure investors (things only you can do)
80 percent tasks :: buy groceries, do laundry, design website, post on social media (things others can do)
Focus :: Now that you are clear on your 20 percent of tasks pushing you toward your goals, take action on these tasks each day. For example, you might experience with one new juice recipe each day and plan to spend 30 minutes a day calling one potential investor instead of scrolling social media.
By focusing your energy on the things that can yield the most results, you will begin to experience momentum toward your goals.
Creating boundaries :: It is important to honor yourself at all times. One way to do this is by creating boundaries. You can use this Instagram post as a starting point for developing the words to support the boundaries you would like to create. Be sure to follow Nedra Glover on Instagram. She will make a great addition to your newly curated IG feed.
Counting to 10 or 100
Live in the present moment :: Many times our worries are related to what MAY happen. Live in the present moment and don’t worry about what MAY happen. Plan and prepare for it, but don’t worry about it.
Reciting affirmations :: Words have power. When you speak positive words and affirm yourself you will experience happy times. Positive affirmations can change your mood - immediately. They can also help you manifest the life you want. Create a list of positive affirmations and use them to help you navigate stressful moments. For example, if you are stressed about your finances you can say ::
I have all the resources to meet my needs.
I lack nothing.
I am resourceful and powerful. I will attract what I need to sustain and survive.
I’m a paper chaser. I got the block on fire. I will remain a G until the moment I expire. I know how to make something out of nothing. I handle my business. (Inspired by Ha by Juvenile) ***
I will win. It’s my winning season. (Inspired by You Will Win by Jakaylan Carr) ***
I’m a master lemonade maker. No matter what life hands me I made the best lemonade ever! Grab a glass! (Inspired by Lemonade by Beyoncè) ***
I won’t let Satan win aka Not today Satan. (Inspired by black mommas everywhere) ***
Everyone experiences trauma in their lifetime, but research shows that Black women experience childhood trauma at higher rates than other groups. Untreated trauma significantly increases the risk of seven out of 10 of the leading causes of death in the United States. Through the Live in Color program you will uncover hidden childhood and life traumas that are keeping you stuck and create a plan for getting unstuck.
When is the last time you leaned into your weaknesses? Most times we ignore them and try to deny them because it doesn’t feel good to know you aren’t good at that thing; but, we shouldn’t do that.
Leaning into our weaknesses means we take a deep look at what we don’t do well, where we need to improve and determine the best way to address the issue. By examining where we can improve, we can reduce our stress. Focusing on weaknesses can help us reduce stress by allowing us to have a plan of action when we are required to operate in our weakness. The Stanford Rethinking Stress toolkit, our stress if often caused by misalignment of our personal values and goals.
For example, if you want to do well at being a mother, but you have a tendency to get easily frustrated, this is a weakness for you in the area of parenting. Leaning into the weakness by asking questions can help you uncover the source of your frustration and help you develop a plan to address it. There are several steps you should take to lean into your weakness ::
Step 1 :: Recognition
Step 2 :: Self-evaluation
Step 3 :: Plan
Using this example, leaning into the weakness would go a little something like this ::
Step 1 :: Recognition
While fussing at your child you realize that this is a common problem.
You acknowledge and don’t try to resist the fact that this is a reoccurring issue.
Step 2 :: Self-evaluation
You make an intentional decision to note how you are feeling at the moment - outside of whatever your child did to upset you, asking yourself ::
Was the punishment (fussing) equal to the infraction (their behavior)?
If so, why?
Did you explain how not to do said thing to the child?
Is there a better way to reach the child that leaves you both with your dignity and respect?
Is there something that could be a larger issue with your child?
If not, what else could cause you to be short with your child consistently?
Is it stress at work?
Are you unhappy with your relationship?
Do you have deep-rooted issues with the parent-child relationship?
Step 3 :: Plan
Based on your responses to the questions, you need to determine what the actual weakness is and then a plan of action moving forward.
Using our example and example questions, you might uncover that your child doesn’t understand the WHY behind what you ask them to do. Since they don’t understand, they don’t do the task the way you want it done - or at all. The weakness here could be that you aren’t effectively communicating with your child.
With that understanding, you can now develop a plan that will help you better communicate with your child. One way to address the weakness is to show them and train them before asking them to complete new tasks, making sure to explain THE WHY and THE HOW as you are training them. Using this new strategy for all situations like this would help improve communication and reduce fussing, improving your stress.
You’re not done though. After fixing the issue with your child, you should consider ::
How else this weakness shows up.
What’s the behavior associated with the weakness in different situations?
How can you develop a plan to address it in those situations?
SN:: I know you are like … gurl … Black mommas don’t care about them not understanding the why … that’s not today’s topic of discussion … but it is something we should discuss at some point … because traditional parenting styles by Black families are rooted in slavery, perpetuate colonialism and are toxic.
Photo by filipefrazao/iStock / Getty Images
August 1 of every year marks a holiday. This is a lesser-known one that is very important to our health and well-being. What’s the holiday?
According to the Mayo Clinic, friendships play a significant role in promoting positive overall health. Strong friendships have reduced the risk of depression, high blood pressure, and unhealthy body mass index. Also, friendships can reduce stress by boosting your happiness, improving your self-worth, and helping you cope with traumatic events.
So, for those who have strong tribes, we need to honor them. I believe there is always a reason to celebrate the beautiful people who enrich our lives by naturally being who they are. I also don’t need a national day to do this, but I believe it can be extremely beautiful and healing to intentionally hold space at least one day a year for the women in our tribe that support us and, in their ways, make us better.
Take some time this weekend to intentionally celebrate the beauty of strong, positive, affirming, and soul-healing relationships with the women of your tribe. Here are three ideas on how you can do just that:
Download a Just Because digital card and shoot your besties a text with the graphic and a special note.
Grab your girlfriends, drink of choice, and a few of your favorite appetizers, and hit the kitchen table to talk***, laugh and share with this soundtrack as the backdrop. Filled with songs that will make you stand tall and proudly proclaim, “I Am Enough, and I am a Black woman.” Enjoy appreciating your bond and sharing your most intimate thoughts with your sista friends. This playlist celebrates the power of Black women and our friendships in honor of National Girlfriend’s Day (August 1). Curated by Brandi “Bea” Williams, co-author if I Am Enough:: 50 Affirmations for Black Women (http://bit.ly/beanbev2), and Beverlee Sanders, former partners in Bea N’ Bev.
*** You can host this party virtually by sending an invite via Zoom, asking each lady to sit at the kitchen table, and sending a menu for consideration.
Give the women in your tribe one (or more) of these sister-friend phone wallpapers. The designs were created as reminders for you and your tribe to rest (Relax, Relate, Release); stay positive (I’m Living a Golden Life); and remind you that your tribe has your back (Soul Sisters).
First, take out a pen and paper and evaluate your tribe.
Who’s in your tribe?
What role and purpose do they serve in your life?
What are some of your favorite memories with this person?
What value do they bring to your life?
What do you see in the future for you two?
Second, write a note or record a video to the people in your tribe sharing some of the things you’ve identified about your friendship. This could be thank you for being a friend - or thank you for the memories if you find that your time with this person has expired.
Third, write yourself a note or create a video to honor the friend you’ve been to you. We always need a little positive affirmation from the number one lady in our lives - ourselves.
Whatever you decide, make sure you celebrate with your tribe. You’re blessed to have them!
Zora Neale Hurston said in “Their Eyes Were Watching God, “De ni*** woman is de mule uh de world so far as Ah can see.”
The recent unrest brings this to bear. As we mourn the lives of black boys and me, black women - who’ve also died and been mistreated by society, are being left out of the conversation while simultaneously being asked to fight for the black man.
Who will stand for us?
