Hormones: The Invisible Puppeteers of Our Body and Mind

We often think of our bodies as intricate systems of organs and tissues working together to keep us alive and thriving. But at the heart of this intricate system is a lesser-known yet powerful force: hormones. These tiny molecules have a hand in almost every aspect of our bodily functions, from regulating our sleep patterns to controlling our metabolism. And, just as they have the power to maintain balance and harmony, hormone imbalances can wreak havoc on our physical and mental health.

Understanding Hormones: The Basics

Generally, hormones are chemical messengers produced by the endocrine glands. They travel through the bloodstream, telling tissues and organs what to do. For example, insulin helps regulate blood sugar levels, while thyroid hormones control metabolism. And it's not just about physical functions; hormones are pivotal in influencing our mood, mental health, and overall well-being.

Imbalanced Hormones and Mental Health

A hormonal imbalance can manifest in numerous ways, from mood swings and anxiety to depression and insomnia. For instance, imbalances in serotonin, often termed the happiness hormone, can lead to feelings of sadness, irritability, and depression. Similarly, fluctuations in estrogen and progesterone, particularly during the menstrual cycle or menopause, can greatly impact mood and cognition.

For Black women, there's an added layer of complexity. Historical and systemic disparities in healthcare access, coupled with societal stresses like racism, can exacerbate hormonal imbalances. These disparities might also make Black women more susceptible to conditions like polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) or thyroid disorders, which can influence mental health.

Nutrition, Hormones, and Weight

One significant factor that can impact hormonal balance is diet. Consuming highly processed, sugary, or fatty foods not only influences weight but can also disrupt hormonal harmony. A diet low in essential nutrients can compromise the functions of the thyroid gland, hinder insulin regulation, and amplify stress hormones like cortisol. For Black women, specific dietary habits and cultural cuisines might need to be carefully navigated to ensure they receive hormone-balancing nutrients.

Eating for Hormonal Harmony: Tips for Women

1. Prioritize Protein: Incorporate lean protein sources like fish, poultry, legumes, and tofu into your diet. Protein provides the essential amino acids necessary for hormone production.

2. Opt for Omega-3s: Fatty acids, particularly omega-3s found in fatty fish, chia seeds, and walnuts, can help reduce inflammation and maintain cell membrane health, which is crucial for hormone function.

3. Boost Fiber Intake: Fiber helps detoxify excess hormones and regulate blood sugar levels. Sources include whole grains, fruits, and vegetables.

4. Minimize Sugar and Refined Carbs: High sugar and refined carb intake can lead to insulin resistance, which may result in weight gain and disrupt other hormonal processes.

5. Incorporate Cruciferous Vegetables: Broccoli, cauliflower, and Brussels sprouts can help balance estrogen levels.

6. Stay Hydrated: Drink enough water daily. It aids in hormone transport and overall cellular function.

7. Limit Caffeine and Alcohol: Both can disrupt endocrine functions and negatively influence hormonal balance.

Understanding the role hormones play in our health is essential for overall well-being. Especially for Black women, who may face unique challenges and vulnerabilities, prioritizing hormone health through nutrient-dense foods can be a key to unlocking a balanced mental and physical state. By taking small, proactive steps in our daily lives, we can harness the power of hormones to work for us rather than against us.

Black + Gold: Getting to the Golden Life

Ever since 2004, when Jill Scott dropped her single Golden, I’ve been dreaming about the Golden Life. I didn’t know at the time what it meant to live life golden, but she made it sound so aspirational. I’ve held on to the desire to live that way and I created the SoulMed definition for The Golden Life.

“The Golden Life requires you to:
* Live in gratitude for each experience (good or bad)
*Naturally respond to triggering situations
* Be emotionally connected to yourself + how you show up to people + how they respond to you
*Honor yourself in what you do + say”

— Bea Williams

Getting to the Golden Life - well - that takes (in the words of Iyanla) doing the work. Watch the video below + download the accompanying workbook to learn how to get to the Golden Life.

DOWNLOAD THE WORKBOOK

Creating Balance: Key to Positive Mental Health

The National Alliance on Mental Health reports that maintaining balance in our daily lives is a cornerstone of our overall well-being. Balance prevents stress, which has a huge and negative impact on our mental health. De-stressing your life can reduce the possibility of contracting some of the major chronic health issues. It’s important to note that balance is different for each person; so, there isn’t a formula for achieving it. To that end, you should have an arsenal of strategies to use that help you create the balance you seek in your life. Below, are some suggested strategies for creating balance in your life.

Create a routine :: Perceived lack of time is a large contributor to stress. Creating a routine that is aligned with your goals can decrease stressful time-related situations. The following information and worksheets will help you create goals and offer you powerful tools to help you manage your time effectively and efficiently.

• Goal-Setting Worksheet

• 80/20 Rule for Time Management

  • Determine your passion :: What do you like doing? If you could have any job in the world, what would you do? How does your passion improve the health and happiness of others?

  • Find your 20 percent :: Make a list of all the activities in your daily life. Categorize each one either as a 20 percent task or an 80 percent task. Certain activities may shift in importance over time, but the 80/20 rule is only effective if you are honest about the priority of a task at the present moment.

    • Twenty percent tasks are high-leverage tasks that are most valuable, produce the greatest momentum toward your goal and provide the greatest return on investment; only you can complete these tasks.

    • Eighty percent tasks have a false sense of urgency or aren’t pushing you closer to your goal; these tasks can be delegated to others.

      1. Example :: If your dream is to run your own juice bar, your daily activity list might include ::

         • 20 percent tasks :: experiment with recipes, secure investors (things only you can do)

         • 80 percent tasks :: buy groceries, do laundry, design website, post on social media (things others can do)

  • Focus :: Now that you are clear on your 20 percent of tasks pushing you toward your goals, take action on these tasks each day. For example, you might experience with one new juice recipe each day and plan to spend 30 minutes a day calling one potential investor instead of scrolling social media.

  By focusing your energy on the things that can yield the most results, you will begin to experience momentum toward your goals.

• Time-Management Awareness

• Big Rocks

Creating boundaries :: It is important to honor yourself at all times. One way to do this is by creating boundaries. You can use this Instagram post as a starting point for developing the words to support the boundaries you would like to create. Be sure to follow Nedra Glover on Instagram. She will make a great addition to your newly curated IG feed.

Counting to 10 or 100

Live in the present moment :: Many times our worries are related to what MAY happen. Live in the present moment and don’t worry about what MAY happen. Plan and prepare for it, but don’t worry about it.

Reciting affirmations :: Words have power. When you speak positive words and affirm yourself you will experience happy times. Positive affirmations can change your mood - immediately. They can also help you manifest the life you want. Create a list of positive affirmations and use them to help you navigate stressful moments. For example, if you are stressed about your finances you can say ::

• I have all the resources to meet my needs.

• I lack nothing.

• I am resourceful and powerful. I will attract what I need to sustain and survive.

• I’m a paper chaser. I got the block on fire. I will remain a G until the moment I expire. I know how to make something out of nothing. I handle my business. (Inspired by Ha by Juvenile) ***

• I will win. It’s my winning season. (Inspired by You Will Win by Jakaylan Carr) ***

• I’m a master lemonade maker. No matter what life hands me I made the best lemonade ever! Grab a glass! (Inspired by Lemonade by Beyoncè) ***

• I won’t let Satan win aka Not today Satan. (Inspired by black mommas everywhere) ***

*** TAKEN FROM I AM ENOUGH :: 50 AFFIRMATIONS FOR BLACK WOMEN. ORDER HERE.

Closure Is Something You Give To Yourself

It is often said that closure is a myth. That’s partly true. If you are seeking closure through someone else … then … yeah … sis … you won’t get it. If you are looking deep within to get closure; well, you are on the right track.

Closure is only something you can give yourself. Dr. Abigail Brenner gives five ways to give yourself closure:

1. Take full responsibility for yourself.
It's ultimately up to you to take the necessary actions to help move you forward. Have conversations with yourself, both asking and answering your own questions in a form of a "self-dialogue."

• What or whom are you holding onto? Why?

• Does holding on truly make you happy, or are you hanging on to a situation the way it once was, or the way you wished it had been, instead of how it actually turned out?

• Are you using this "holding on" as an excuse to stay stuck and unresolved? In other words, is dwelling in the past taking you away from moving toward your future?

• Are you trying to avoid dealing with loss and the void that loss creates?

• If you're willing to let go, what does that really mean? What will you have to do?

• Are you afraid of not knowing what the outcome will be?

• Ultimately, what do you believe will happen to you if you let go?

Being as honest as you can be will pay off in the long run. The pain, hurt, anger, and disappointment will diminish once you've cleared the way to a better, more realistic understanding of the situation.

2. Grieve the loss.
Take plenty of time to do this. There is no set amount of time and no prescribed way; it's totally up to each person to find that for themselves. Don't let anyone tell you to "just get over it." However, grieving should not go on for years. That's just being stuck, still heavily invested in the past.

Prolonged or incomplete grief may contribute to making poor choices in the future. The ability to trust, to be honest, and to be yourself is essential for a new, healthier relationship or situation to present itself to you. "Unfinished business" must be completed and resolved before you move on.

3. Gather your strengths.

• Focus on the positives. Make a list of your talents, gifts, and assets.

• Surround yourself with people who know you well, encourage and support you.

• Shift the emphasis to what you need, what makes you happy. Don't worry about pleasing others.

• Assess where you can make positive change in your life.

• Define and affirm what you're able to do something about now.

4. Make a plan for the immediate future.
Determine what's most important for you moving forward. If necessary, reorder your priorities to allow you to explore different possibilities and opportunities that may present themselves to you. Try some of these on for size. It doesn't matter if they don't work out, just that you tried. The important thing is to take action in order to make things happen. If you can't find a path, make one!

5. Create a ritual.
Believe it or not, performing a ritual is a powerful tool to help gain closure. Beyond thinking and talking, and thinking and talking some more, ritual is driven by intention and action. A "symbolic enactment" allows you to utilize your creativity and intuition in order to bypass the intellectual, logical part of your brain.

For example, when a relationship is over, what do you do with all of the meaningful items and objects, such as letters, pictures, etc., that were part of the relationship? A "fire ceremony" is a way to consume the past, but any number of rituals that you personally create can provide symbolic finality and closure.

Weaknesses As Strengths

When is the last time you leaned into your weaknesses? Most times we ignore them and try to deny them because it doesn’t feel good to know you aren’t good at that thing; but, we shouldn’t do that.

Leaning into our weaknesses means we take a deep look at what we don’t do well, where we need to improve and determine the best way to address the issue. By examining where we can improve, we can reduce our stress. Focusing on weaknesses can help us reduce stress by allowing us to have a plan of action when we are required to operate in our weakness. The Stanford Rethinking Stress toolkit, our stress if often caused by misalignment of our personal values and goals.

For example, if you want to do well at being a mother, but you have a tendency to get easily frustrated, this is a weakness for you in the area of parenting. Leaning into the weakness by asking questions can help you uncover the source of your frustration and help you develop a plan to address it. There are several steps you should take to lean into your weakness ::

• Step 1 :: Recognition

• Step 2 :: Self-evaluation

• Step 3 :: Plan

Using this example, leaning into the weakness would go a little something like this ::

Step 1 :: Recognition

• While fussing at your child you realize that this is a common problem.

• You acknowledge and don’t try to resist the fact that this is a reoccurring issue.

Step 2 :: Self-evaluation

• You make an intentional decision to note how you are feeling at the moment - outside of whatever your child did to upset you, asking yourself ::

  • Was the punishment (fussing) equal to the infraction (their behavior)?

    • If so, why?

      • Did you explain how not to do said thing to the child?

      • Is there a better way to reach the child that leaves you both with your dignity and respect?

      • Is there something that could be a larger issue with your child?

    • If not, what else could cause you to be short with your child consistently?

      • Is it stress at work?

      • Are you unhappy with your relationship?

      • Do you have deep-rooted issues with the parent-child relationship?

Step 3 :: Plan

Based on your responses to the questions, you need to determine what the actual weakness is and then a plan of action moving forward.

Using our example and example questions, you might uncover that your child doesn’t understand the WHY behind what you ask them to do. Since they don’t understand, they don’t do the task the way you want it done - or at all. The weakness here could be that you aren’t effectively communicating with your child.

With that understanding, you can now develop a plan that will help you better communicate with your child. One way to address the weakness is to show them and train them before asking them to complete new tasks, making sure to explain THE WHY and THE HOW as you are training them. Using this new strategy for all situations like this would help improve communication and reduce fussing, improving your stress.

You’re not done though. After fixing the issue with your child, you should consider ::

• How else this weakness shows up.

• What’s the behavior associated with the weakness in different situations?

• How can you develop a plan to address it in those situations?

SN:: I know you are like … gurl … Black mommas don’t care about them not understanding the why … that’s not today’s topic of discussion … but it is something we should discuss at some point … because traditional parenting styles by Black families are rooted in slavery, perpetuate colonialism and are toxic.

3 Ways to Celebrate National Girlfriends Day

Photo by filipefrazao/iStock / Getty Images

August 1 of every year marks a holiday. This is a lesser-known one that is very important to our health and well-being. What’s the holiday?

National Girlfriends Day

According to the Mayo Clinic, friendships play a significant role in promoting positive overall health. Strong friendships have reduced the risk of depression, high blood pressure, and unhealthy body mass index. Also, friendships can reduce stress by boosting your happiness, improving your self-worth, and helping you cope with traumatic events.

So, for those who have strong tribes, we need to honor them. I believe there is always a reason to celebrate the beautiful people who enrich our lives by naturally being who they are. I also don’t need a national day to do this, but I believe it can be extremely beautiful and healing to intentionally hold space at least one day a year for the women in our tribe that support us and, in their ways, make us better.

Take some time this weekend to intentionally celebrate the beauty of strong, positive, affirming, and soul-healing relationships with the women of your tribe. Here are three ideas on how you can do just that:

Idea 1:: Send a digital card

Download a Just Because digital card and shoot your besties a text with the graphic and a special note.

Idea 2 :: Sipping, Snacking & Singing

Grab your girlfriends, drink of choice, and a few of your favorite appetizers, and hit the kitchen table to talk***, laugh and share with this soundtrack as the backdrop. Filled with songs that will make you stand tall and proudly proclaim, “I Am Enough, and I am a Black woman.” Enjoy appreciating your bond and sharing your most intimate thoughts with your sista friends. This playlist celebrates the power of Black women and our friendships in honor of National Girlfriend’s Day (August 1). Curated by Brandi “Bea” Williams, co-author if I Am Enough:: 50 Affirmations for Black Women (http://bit.ly/beanbev2), and Beverlee Sanders, former partners in Bea N’ Bev.

*** You can host this party virtually by sending an invite via Zoom, asking each lady to sit at the kitchen table, and sending a menu for consideration.

Idea 3:: It’s a Photo Party

Give the women in your tribe one (or more) of these sister-friend phone wallpapers. The designs were created as reminders for you and your tribe to rest (Relax, Relate, Release); stay positive (I’m Living a Golden Life); and remind you that your tribe has your back (Soul Sisters).

• Download Relax, Relate, Release

• Download I’m Living a Golden Life

• Download You’re My Soul Sister

Idea 4 :: Dear Sister …

First, take out a pen and paper and evaluate your tribe.

• Who’s in your tribe?

• What role and purpose do they serve in your life?

• What are some of your favorite memories with this person?

• What value do they bring to your life?
  What do you see in the future for you two?

Second, write a note or record a video to the people in your tribe sharing some of the things you’ve identified about your friendship. This could be thank you for being a friend - or thank you for the memories if you find that your time with this person has expired.

Third, write yourself a note or create a video to honor the friend you’ve been to you. We always need a little positive affirmation from the number one lady in our lives - ourselves.

Whatever you decide, make sure you celebrate with your tribe. You’re blessed to have them!

Follow Friday :: Plants, Veggies and More

During this week’s Kombucha, Wine & Chill Virtual Game Night Demetria Cox, a gardner, health-eating & plant-based advocate and vegetarian chef shared tips on how to grow veggies from scraps four low-maintenance indoor plants that can improve your quality of life. See below for information on both and make sure you follow her on Instagram @deeveggiechef.

Growing Fruits and Veggies from Home

If you’ve ever been interested in growing your own food, now is a great time to start. You don’t need to run out and stock up on gardening supplies either. You can start a small in-home garden with organic scraps from your kitchen. You don’t need much - just seeds or roots from your fruits or veggies, fertilizer and a container (can be a glass or cup that you already have).

See below for links and videos to help guide you.

10 Foods that Regrow with Water

Growing from Food Scraps :: 37 Kitchen Scraps You Can Regrow

14 Store-Bought Veggies and Herbs You Can Grow at Home

Low-maintenance plants for your home

Kaizen. It’s a Japanese business approach to creating continuous improvement based on the idea that small, ongoing positive changes can reap major improvements. When implemented, kaizen promotes small steps to improvement - like very small. Using a wellness example, someone looking to lower their A1C would first think about the change. That’s step one. Step two would be to research the things needed to make the change. You get the idea?

Using kaizen as a guide to improving your personal health, means making small changes toward that goal. Want to boost your immunity and improve your mood? Try plants. Check out the benefits of having plants in your home.

The infographic below shares information on four plants that can be used to jumpstart your wellness journey.

Testimony Tuesday :: Losing Weight Is All About You

This article was featured in the March 30 issue of The Charlotte Post

About a year and a half ago I headed to the doctor for my annual exam. I was expecting to discuss my high A1C, low iron and low Vitamin D numbers. I wasn’t expecting to get on the scale and realize I was 123 pounds. There were several problems with this:

1. I am 4’9”. I can’t stand to be much heavier or I will roll away.

2. I was the highest weight I’d ever been at in my life; and the last time I was 123 pounds, I was pregnant.

3. My doctor said I was still in normal range.

I left the doctor with a good bill of health, but I was not happy. I knew I had to do something about this growing belly fat that was contributing to my 123 pound overall weight. I immediately called a friend who directed me to take a food sensitivity test to determine what foods I should stay away from because they cause leaky gut syndrome. I took the test, got the results and continued to eat the foods.

I started working out with a trainer. I paid for this online group to create a specialized diet just for me. I had a breast reduction and began eating less meat and more live foods. I only lost three pounds.

I was devastated, but I soon found out why I wasn’t losing weight. I wasn’t honoring my body. I didn’t truly understand my body and I wasn’t listening to it as it told me what was wrong.

Losing weight is as unique to you as your fingerprint. There is no one-size-fits all diet. Each person is a unique individual with their own set of nutritional requirements that are impacted by many different things - environment, anatomy, metabolism, body composition and cell structure. The concept that one man’s food is another man’s poison is called bio-individuality. Achieving optimal health means that you have to completely understand your body and what foods are good for you and which ones are poison for you. If you want to truly lose weight and achieve optimal health you will need to:

1. Keep a food journal. Food journaling is the first step in helping you understand how your body reacts to food. Write down in your journal what you eat for 30 days - for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Take note of how your body feels, your emotions and energy levels when you eat during this time. Pay attention to any changes in your skin, hair and nails as well. Our bodies are always talking to us. We just have to pay attention to what it is telling us. Take into account any regular monthly bodily activities and note the symptoms that you have with those changes that may or may not be connected to your food.
   

2. Take a food sensitivity test. Within two weeks of starting your journaling practice, take a food sensitivity test. This is a blood test that will help you determine what foods trigger an immune reaction in your body. The food triggers are different for each person. When you eat these foods it damages the lining of your intestines, allowing food particles to get into your bloodstream, which causes inflammation in your body and can cause the body to begin to fight the food like it is bacteria or a virus. This is called leaky gut syndrome. Symptoms of leaky gut syndrome include bloating, food sensitivities, fatigue, digestive issues and skin problems. Knowing which foods trigger this response in your body can help you remove them from your diet, decreasing inflammation and the potential for an unwarranted immune response.
   

3. Evaluate your microbiome. There are good and bad bacteria in your gastrointestinal tract (GI tract). When the bacteria in your GI tract becomes unbalanced it can lead to chronic illness and digestive disorders like irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), Chron’s disease, colitis, diabetes, obesity and leaky gut syndrome. Getting a microbiome test will test the bacteria in your system and help determine the best way to rebalance the bacteria for optimal health. 

There are several online tests for food sensitivities and microbiome testing that can help you evaluate your microbiome, but this is best done under the care of a functional medicine doctor or nurse practitioner. They can help you evaluate the results and prescribe medical-grade probiotics or supplements. A certified health coach can also guide you through the process and make recommendations to qualified medical professionals who are committed to finding the root cause of your illness. 

The most important part of your health journey is honoring your bio-individuality by observing and listening to your body. Our bodies are always talking to us. We just have to listen to what they are saying.