"The ultimate freedom is choosing yourself." – Nia Long
The Flavor
I used to believe movement meant progress. If I kept pushing forward, doing, and proving, I’d eventually land where I was meant to be - but - the truth? I was exhausted. Out of alignment. Frustrated beyond words.
I didn’t realize that my frustration wasn’t just discomfort—it was an invitation. An invitation to stop grasping at what I thought I needed. To release what was falling apart instead of trying to hold it together. To trust that my breaking wasn’t the end of me—it was the beginning of something more profound.
So, God did what He does when we refuse to slow down. He sat me down—hard. He stripped away distractions, noise, and false security. He sent me into my wilderness—not as a punishment but as preparation.
The Spice
Moses didn’t step into his purpose from a place of comfort. Before he could lead, he had to leave. Before he could deliver, he had to be delivered.
His wilderness was necessary.
Mine was too.
I used to think my breakdown was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Now, I see it was my rebirth. The wilderness stripped me of every false identity I had wrapped myself in. It forced me to confront how I had been shrinking, settling, and silencing myself for the comfort of others.
It was uncomfortable and lonely. Some days, I wanted to return to what was familiar, even though I knew it wasn’t serving me, but I stayed. I let God work on me, and slowly, I started to see the purpose in the process.
The wilderness wasn’t meant to destroy me. It was meant to deliver me.
The Recipe
Maybe you’re in your wilderness season right now. Perhaps you’re in the middle of a stripping, a shedding, a breaking. Perhaps you feel lost, untethered, unsure of what’s next.
If so, I want you to ask yourself:
🌱 What is God trying to show me in this season?
🌱 What have I been holding onto that is keeping me bound?
🌱 How can I surrender to the process instead of resisting it?
Sis, the wilderness is not your final destination. It is a passageway. A refining ground. A necessary season to prepare you for what’s next.
So instead of fighting it, lean in. Let the old versions of yourself fall away. Trust that what’s waiting for you on the other side is worth every tear, every test, and every moment of uncertainty.
The wilderness was never meant to break you. It was meant to build you.
That’s my gumbo. What’s yours?
If this essay resonated with you, there’s more where that came from. Brandi N. Williams is writing her forthcoming book, Life’s Gumbo: Stirring the Pot of Wisdom, Resilience, and Love—a collection of deeply personal, soul-stirring essays that explore faith, healing, self-discovery, and the journey of unbecoming everything that no longer serves us.
These stories are raw, reflective, and rooted in Black womanhood, divine timing, and the lessons life teaches us along the way. If you want to be the first to know when the book is released, sign up here.